


On the Same Wavelength

by liternee109



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies), James Bond - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Gen, Gift Exchange, M/M, MI6, MI6 Secret Santa, Presents, Star Trek - Freeform, trekkies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-11 05:53:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8957005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liternee109/pseuds/liternee109
Summary: Q knew better than to take any of Bond's ideas or to actually hack the Head of Finance. This year's Secret Santa would have to be figured out the old fashioned way- Contacting her wife.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was for the 2016 MI6 Secret Santa Exchange. 
> 
> Thanks to Obfucatress, therealpigfarts23, 10moonymhrivertam, and a-forger-and-a-point-man for being sounding boards and awesome cheerleaders. Huge thanks to spiritofcamelot for the last minute beta and everyone who helped come up with the idea of the Secret Santa in the first place. I hope you guys enjoy!

“Q! Stop worrying, and fidgeting for Christ’s sake. It’s not like you can’t hack into her account and see what she likes or needs.” That had been hours ago. If only it was that easy, Q muses as he looks down at the phone number on his screen. Right this shouldn't be hard, just some old school sleuthing. Q wasn’t a bloody spy, that’s why he kept Bond around. Well… that and other reasons.

The Director of Finance, of course he got paired with the one person who actually understands how valuable his time is and could put an amount of wasted money to anything Q plans with work resources or on MI6 hours. The yearly office Secret Santa was supposed to be fun and company bonding and instead Q had even more anxiety than usual about plans going wrong. His normal ways of attacking problems could very easily backfire in this situation.

Q didn’t know a lot about Barbara other than she ran her department with an iron fist and was the sole reason there had been an actual answer to the ongoing Q branch bet of which agent destroyed the most in property damage and over under on what the amount actually was. Around budget season every year, the tale of the old Quartermaster underestimating the new Head of Finance always circled. No one has ever dared to actually put a number to the worth of a 00 versus resources used for them, resources gained by them, and resources destroyed by them. Barbara had, by agent, by year, dating all the way back to the paper records kept. Twenty years of data organized and compiled and no one dared to say “but can you really put a true worth to what we do here?” She could, and she had. The old M had actually been _fond of her,_ and Mallory knew how priceless she was in her position. She understood that MI6 was expensive but also made sure she understood _why._ Q had a very healthy respect and fear of her, justifiably so.

Which had lead him to this point, and this number. Bond had been predictably unhelpful in suggestions of what to get the director, hacking was not an option, NO, but had surprisingly been unknowingly helpful. Q would never let Bond anywhere the the Wife of the Head of Finance but he could call her himself. Which had lead him to this number.

_Brrrrring… Brrrrring_

“Hello, this is the Wrainsworths, Alexa speaking. How may I help you?”

“Hello, Ms Wrainsworth, this is Q from your wife’s work.”

“ _OHHHH, Q._ Call my Alex dear, Barb has told me so much about those pesky agents you have to deal with every day and how they wreak havoc on her numbers, I feel like we are friends already. I must say I am very intrigued about some of the alleged happening around the office to agents that have tried to take advantage of your team. Barb holds you in very high regard, even if she detests doing your department's budget every year.”

“I am glad to hear it. I hold your wife in high regard as well. It wasn’t every day that personnel made M laugh let alone smile. I am actually calling for some help in regards to your lovely wife.”

“Are you sure you aren’t trained like the agents sir? Haha, I have heard you spend a lot of time around 00’s, a certain in particular. How can I help, Dear?”

“Well you see, the problem is I have picked Ms. Wrainsworth for the office Secret Santa. I respect her way too much to do anything as drastic as say hack her file to see what she would appreciate. That is where you come in.”

“I am hearing you fear her too much, which makes me very proud. I taught her well. *chuckles* So how much guidance do you need love?”

“I don’t even know where to start honestly. What type of spirits does she prefer, does she like indestructible bags?”

“Oh dear, she really has kept quiet. I never thought she could actually manage passing for normal, especially around like minded people. My wife is a grade “A” nerd with a capital T for Trekkie. You run Q branch, I bet you can do something with that?”

“OOO, like minded folk you say? Now tell me Alex, how up to date is her phone?”

“Oh Barb is forever dropping that thing, she says it’s not worth having the latest one if it’ll break anyway.”

“Lovely! Thank you ever so much.”

“Oh and Dear… just because I am married to a Trekkie, doesn't mean I’m not married to a classy one, remember that.”

“Will do Ma’am.”

“Oh and one more thing... would you and Bond ever be interested in a double date, I am so surprised we haven’t met yet? I bet we would get along grandly.”

“Oh my, work emergency! Thank you for all your help, Alex. Have a great day.”

Q could not have gotten off the phone fast enough. He knew better than to introduce this lovely charming bright women to Bond. There was a reason he and Barbara had gotten to be where they were and that was partially due to their skill at managing people, or knowing when certain combinations would be unmanageable entirely.

~1 day later~

Q sent his program into the electronic archives of Q Branch and let it do it’s job while he did his. It hadn’t been that hard to code and was simple, the genius part of it was the spreadsheet that was the output. Once any information was in a spreadsheet it was more valuable. Q’s end goal was to have a searchable list of any and all failed projects that could be useful. He knew better than to use Q branch resources on new tech for a present, but it was much harder to be made about re-purposed tech. Q was merely planning to recycle failed projects and out of date R&D programs, really he was lowering the cost deficit of the Q branch, Barb should be thanking him. Which if he does this properly she will.

He had some new R&D projects to look into as his program did its job. He had minions to run and not so evil genius tasks to accomplish.

Two hours later, after being proud of himself for not laughing in the face of an agent who didn’t understand physics, Q took a break from his MI6 work to see what his program had found. Once he saw he had a complete list of non damaged components Q then ran his second program which was able to build a theoretical specified device out of the available components. That was a good starting point and would give Q something fun to work on once he got home. Bond was on a mission and the cats had been grumpy lately.

~Day of the Gift Exchange~

Ms. Barbara Wrainsworth just wanted this day to be over and her Holiday Vacation to begin. Her direct reports had had the gall to try to blame simple mathematical errors on their reports. If you can’t look at findings and be able to tell they make no sense than this is not the place to work. Barbara spends more of her time calling others on their inconsistencies and bullshit then she does actually running her department. But then, she runs her department and the finances of MI6 efficiently by calling everyone on their bullshit.

The day had started on a sour note and Alex’s pure joy hadn’t helped. Something was going on and Barb did not like not knowing what was going on. With a fresh cup of tea in hand she returned to her office to find the Quartermaster in her office, sitting with a brightly wrapped present in his lap, small yet very bright. If Barb wasn’t mistaken there were dogs and cats with elf hats on pictured on the wrapping.

Q looked sheepishly at the package as he handed it over, “Don’t mind the wrapping. Ben’s brain broke when his nine month revolutionary project ended because of a prank. It is salvageable of course but he needed a break and wrapping this was the perfect opportunity.”

“Oh really, pranks now Quartermaster.  Do I need to have a talk with you about properly running a department?”

“The prank was well deserved mind you. Really, I don't care if you were born last week, no proper Q branch employee that plans to do well can completely miss four Princess Bride references followed by a Red shirt comment and not need some education. The virus that took over his computer, only during lunch mind you, just spread a little larger than originally planned. It is all been taken care of, don’t you worry.”

Barbara was started to get anxious just by looking at the caffeinated fidgeting genius in front of her but was curious as to what he would deem an appropriate gift for someone of her caliber and power to make his life miserable. She opened the card on top to see there was an instructions manual with the bullet print list on top of it:

  1. Functional detachable taser
  2. Cellular, Data, Satellite capability (switches seamlessly)
  3. Automatically backs up on MI6 servers
  4. Top of the line encryption
  5. Company email access
  6. Unbreakable casing (I would trust it with Bond)
  7. Unlimited warranty (just come stop by Q branch)



Underneath that list nestled in tissue paper in a box was… a communicator, no this can’t be. Here in her hands was a polished case, flip communicator right out of a Star Trek show. Well not right out of a show, right in her hands, and very useful if the manual and card were anything to go by. Small, sleek, “indestructible”, and nerdy. This was perfect.

~

Q knew it had been worth it when Barbara’s first reaction was to curse softly; “Bloody Hell, so _this_ is why Alexa has been such a smug little brat lately. Thank you Q, can we agree that my wife and your Bond are never to meet?”

Q could tell when useful alliances had been made, “I can assure you that I will do everything in power to stop that from ever happening.”

“Lovely, see you at Budget Time. Also, if you ever want to know what the actual risk benefit analysis says to spending the money and resources on recovering lost tech from 00 missions let me know. It might be a pleasant surprise for your ongoing battle with Mallory.” Director Wrainsworth made sure to tuck her new phone, cough communicator, into her purse and she sauntered out into the hallway, no one daring to get in her path.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to come say hi over at tumblr, @amarulasmile.


End file.
